I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
