I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
