This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize