I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You can't special order awesome
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
