you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize