Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
