Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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