pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
