I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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