Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
