Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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