just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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