The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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