dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
