She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
