All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize