Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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