I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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