it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
did you just send me my own nude
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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