i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
