so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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