i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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