Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I skipped work to stalk him.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
