I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
