I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
