Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
