real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
