i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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