TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
