I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
