Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Randomize
