everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize