Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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