Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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