My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
