OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
