The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
