Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
