The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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