You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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