"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it hurts more in the daytime
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
