just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
