no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
