So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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