I can feel you judging me through the phone.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
