Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
