i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
