We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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