I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
