TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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