I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
