I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
