So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
