That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
is wine microwaveable?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
