I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
