I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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