great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
