So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
