hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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