Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I want to make a zoo with you.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
