I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
third nipple confirmed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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