he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize