I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
