can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
whose parrot is this?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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