I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize