I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
