I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
