Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
