Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
