what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
