So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize