Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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