The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
