sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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