i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Even my vagina gasped.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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