I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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