There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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