If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
