How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
